Misadventures
by Chibi One-san
Summary: Random adventures Cortex goes on all the while dragging his assistant, N. Gin, along. I have no idea how long this will go on for... also teen mainly for N. Gin's bad language and I do not own Crash Bandicoot
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE: CORTEX'S NINJA ADVENTURE WITH HOT CHICK... PLUS THAT GUY

N. Gin looks at the 'chapter title' Cortex wrote on his memo, "I hope you're planning to shorten these memo titles in the future. Also, why did you call me that guy?"

"Because you're ugly and no one cares about you" Cortex tells him.

"Says the guy who broke every mirror in the castle with just one glance"

"What was that?"

"Nothing" N. Gin sighs, "can we get this over with?"

N. Gin follows Cortex out the castle and to a forest path. Cortex takes out a scroll and holds it in front of N. Gin. His assistant didn't seem al that interested.

"Do you know what we're going to do today?" Cortex asks.

"Ignoring your memo, not really but I'm sure you're going to tell me anyway" N. Gin says.

"Today you and I shall be ninjas"

N. Gin tries to act interested, "ninjas?"

"Yes, we shall... why aren't you in costume? You look so... ordinary"

N. Gin looks at Cortex's outfit, "if you call having a missel sticking out of your head ordinary. On top of that, you look stupid. Have you been reading Naruto again?"

"Maybe... that's besides the point. As ninjas we're going to complete an escort mission as a team like in that manga... I didn't read"

"Well I guess this is better than getting beaten up by Crash. In fact anything is better than fight Crash but didn't your memo imply there would be three of us?"

"That's why I'm here!"

A blonde hair young woman jumps out of a tree and lands on N. Gin's back. She had a sticker on her top saying 'hello y name is Hot Babe'.

"I love Cortex" she says.

"How much did he pay you to say that?" N. Gin asks, trying to ignore the pain in his back.

"who said that?" she looks around.

"Down here, under your boots. Could you do me a favor and get off me?"

"Oh, sorry" she jumps off him, "and as for your question more than you make in a month"

"Kids make more pocket money than I do in a week. Anyway, we're getting off topic here" N. Gin gets back up onto his feet, "Cortex, we're scientists NOT ninjas"

"We're going to be ninjas today and that is final. Our mission is to escort this bridge builder to the construction site where he will finish building the bridge" Cortex tells him.

"What bridge builder?" N. Gin asks as he looks around for the guy.

"I think he means the guy taking a piss behind that tree" Hot Bade says.

"Oh... lovely"

The bridge builder walked up to the three. He has a label that says 'Guy'.

"Does everyone have a stupid name tag, besides you and I that is" N. Gin asks.

"Your right, one moment" Cortex says.

Cortex puts a name sticker on his and N. Gin's top/

N. Gin has a look at Cortex's label, "Sexy Neo... Really?"

"Why not Ugly Virgin" Cortex says.

"Ugly virgin?"

Hot Babe looks at N. Gin's label, "that;s what it says on your name tag"

"Why do I get the feeling this virgin thing is going to turn into a running gag" N. Gin sighs.

"Come on kiddies, I've got a bridge to build" Guy says.

"KIDDIES?! We're NOT children, she clearly has... wait are you drunk? Maybe losing him in the woods will be easier than I thought" N. Gin says.

"We're not losing anyone, I need the money" Cortex says.

"So your finally going to pay me?"

"No I need the cash to buy that big shiny robot with the laser guns. Besides if I did pay you, you'd only quit"

N. Gin glares at Cortex, even if he is right about him quiting. Hot Bade wondered why N. Gin was even working for Cortex in the first place.

"Come on, that ferris wheel won't build itself" Guy says.

"I thought you were building a bridge" N. Gin says.

"This is going to take a while, isn;t it?" Hot Babe asks.

"Yes, yes it is" N. Gin says.

Cortex leads the way, followed by Guy then N. Gin and Hot Babe.

They had been walking for sometime when two ninjas jumped them.

"What do you guys want?" N. Gin asks.

"We want to kill the bridge builder, ugly virgin" Ninja one says.

"Cortex, can I take this stupid name tag off?" N. Gin asks.

"No, you didn't say the magic word" Cortex says.

"Let me take it off or I'll let those guys beat you black and blue"

"That isn't the magic word" Cortex turns to the two ninjas, ignoring N. Gin's threats as Hot Babe holds him back, "why? Did he do something to annoy you or are you trying to stop him from making life better for others?"

"Why are we, people who are labeled as villans, helping him?" N. Gin asks.

"We need cash" Cortex tells him.

"He owes us money" Ninja two says.

"So we shall kill him unless you can beat us" Ninja one says.

"Cortex owes me money, you don't see me trying to kill him. Besides, given our track record of zero wins this will not end well" N. Gin says.

"Leave this to me virgin" Hot Babe says.

"My name's N. Gin!"

"At least she didn't call you ugly" Cortex says.

Hot Babe proceeds to beat the two ninjas to an inch within their lives.

"Beaten... by a... girl" Ninja one says.

"How... humiliating" Ninja two says.

"I bet is it but then again I wouldn't know what that was like now would I N. Gin, I mean ugly virgin" Cortex says.

N. Gin glares at Cortex.

They left the two ninjas where they lay. That night they stopped at a clearing.

"Our first night as ninjas on out first, if not only, mission. I say we sleep out under the stars" Cortex announces.

"I say we steal their wallets and stay in that inn tonight" N. Gin says.

"Do you think we'll have enough for bed and breakfast?" Hot Babe asks.

"Bed, yes, breakfast probably not"

"Your right" she holds Guy and Cortex's wallets, "anythings better than sleeping near them"

"At least you don't have to live with Cortex"

"Why do you live with him?"

"I'm broke"

The next day the four boarded a boat to the construction site. Cortex kept a 'close' eye on Guy while N. Gin stayed as far away from Cortex as did Hot Babe.

"What is your name? It can't be Hot Babe, right?" N. Gin asks.

"No, it's not Hot Babe. My name's Holy"

"Holy? At least you have a normal sounding name unlike those I know"

"So what does the N in your name stand for?"

"Well it stands for..."

"N. Gin, Guy just threw up" Cortex says.

"I'm a scientist NOT a janitor or a ninja for that matter! Clean it up yourself!" N. Gin snaps.

"A what?"

"Did he understand anything you just said?" Holy asks.

"He thinks the dictionary is the holy bible... maybe I shouldn't have thrown it at him. Didn't think it would hit him that hard" N. Gin says.

"I understand Cortex so much more... wish I didn't"

"You and everyone else"

"He threw up again" Cortex says.

"Please say we're almost there" N. Gin pleas,

"We have another six hours to go" Holy tells him.

"Six hours! Hey Guy, you have any booze left?"

"And now he;s going to get drunk"

Six hours later they arrived at the construction site.

Cortex got his pay cheque which he used to buy the robot he wanted. It was destroyed by Crash Bandicoot in record time.

Holy became a full fledge ninja, for the time being. People still call her Hot babe.

N. Gin passed out three hours before they arrived at the construction site. N. Tropy picked him up an hour after they finished their mission. He is recovering from a hang over.

"Someone kill me" N. Gin groans.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO: COFFEE ABD BOARD GAMES

Tropy was polishing his clocks and enjoying the peace and quiet that comes from Cortex discovering video games and N. Gin recovering from a hang over. Unfortunately, his peace and quiet soon came to an end.

N. Gin runs into Tropy's clock room holding an open bag of coffee beans shortly followed by Cortex. Cortex corners N. Gin in an attempt to grab the bag off him only to be stopped by N. Gin's foot.

"I demand you give me that bag of coffee!" Cortex yells.

"No! You've had too much already!" N. Gin replies.

"I'll pay you"

"With what, monopoly money again? It didn't work the first time and it won't work a second! Why do you need this much coffee anyway?"

"It will help me become a woman"

"A wha... that makes no sense, are you drunk? Nether mind, if you want to be a woman that badly I'll be more than happy to help"

"May I remind you anyone who sees Neo's naked body goes blind" Tropy says.

"Oh yeah, I fell sorry for anyone who played the last titans game. Good thing he was still wearing something, too forever to get the dye out of my hair and it'll take even longer to repair whatever's left of my reputation" N. Gin says.

"GIMME!" Cortex demands.

"I SAID NO!"

"UGLY!"

"BIG HEADED FREAK!"

"VIRGIN!"

"DICK!"

Tropy sighs, "I fell like I'm babysitting children"

"UGLY BRITISH VIRGIN!" Cortex yells.

"You already called me ugly and a virgin... and who said I was British?" N. Gin asks.

"FINE... your English"

"STOP MAKING SHIT UP!"

Tropy pulls Cortex and N. Gin apart, "would you two stop acting like children. Cortex, weren't you playing one of your video games?"

"The consol broke, we ran out of booze and now I'm board" Cortex tells him.

"So coffee and changing your gender was the answer..." Tropy sighs, "well why don't the three of us play a board game?"

"What game? I'm pretty sure Tiny's eaten most of them" N. Gin says.

"How about monopoly?" Tropy suggests.

"Monopoly, I'm good at that" Cortex runs off to retrieve the box.

"You had to pick a board game with no real ending" N. Gin says.

Cortex returns with the box and begins to set up the game. N. Gin has a look at the game pieces.

"I don't remember the dog having a missel shoved up its ass... what is up with these pieces?" N. Gin asks.

"I have no answer for the dog but it appears Cortex just threw in some random pieces to replace the ones that are missing" Tropy tells him.

"That explains the chess pawn, what else is there. A gun and Miss Scarlet from Cluedo... a plastic battleship... and... is that a human eye?"

"That's what it appears to be"

"I GET MISS SCARLET!" Cortex grabs his piece, "N. Gin, why don't you be the dog?"

"I'll be the battleship" N. Gin picks it up and places it on the board.

Tropy choses the chess pawn and makes a mental note to get rid of the eye ball when Cortex isn't looking. To save time, Cortex decided they should be allowed to buy properties as soon as the game begins rather than wait until they have been round the board once.

Two hours in and N. Gin owed Old Kent Road and Whitechapel Road whilst the remainder of the board is divided between Cortex and Tropy. N. Gin picks up the dice.

"I wonder who's property you'll land on" Cortex says.

"You and Tropy own the board minus the two I have and, on top of that, you have hotels on all of your properties. It doesn't matter where I land... stop gloating, your smile is creepy" N. Gin says.

N. Gin lands on one of Cortex's properties. Lacking in funds he has no choice but to declare bankruptcy and hand over his only two properties to Cortex.

"Oh look your broke, just like in real life" Cortex says.

"At least I don't have to play anymore" N. Gin gets up, "have fun without me"

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" Cortex asks.

"To do some work! And hide the coffee"

N. Gin returns later that night to find Cortex and Tropy are still playing.

"I told you it was a bad idea to play a game with no real ending" N. Gin says.

"We're not stopping until one of us wins and that winner shall be me!" Cortex announces.

"Fool, it is I who shall be triumphant!" Tropy announces.

N. Gin picks up a toaster and drops it onto the board, "a meteor in the shape of an everyday toaster fell from the sky and killed everyone. Now count your crash and property values to find out who won. I'm going to bed"

The next morning N. Gin finds Cortex and Tropy where he left them. He was wondering whether to bother them or not. He was also wanted to know why Tropy had a toaster in his clock room and if he could get away with putting tooth paste in Tropy's clocks with him in the room.

"It ended in a draw" Cortex says, startling N. Gin slightly.

"I don't care" N. Gin says.

"We need a rematch which means you have to play with us again" Cortex tells N. Gin.

"Not going to happen"

"And neither is your childish prank" Tropy says.

"I'm going back to work" N. Gin says.

"I thought as much"


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE: [INSERT TITLE HERE]

One stormy and miserable day, in the designated break room where Brio is reading a newspaper and N. Gin is looking at a carton of milk.

"Hey Brio, what will kill me faster, drinking expired milk or smoking expired cigarettes?" N. Gin asks.

"Neither, expired milk will only make you ill as for cigarettes they have no expiration date and even so you will have to smoke a lot of them until your lungs gave up. Did you remember to take your medication this morning?" Brio asks.

"Considering I haven't tried to murder Cortex in cold blood yet, yes I did"

"Then why are you trying to kill yourself?"

"I got another memo from Cortex"

"That explains in but isn't it your day off?"

"What's a day off?"

"I knew I should have kept a closer eye on N. Gin after his accident, good thing he's not completely brain dead"

"Yes, good thing and he is right here"

Cortex arrives holding a kite and umbrella. He places them on the table then pulls out a key and some string, placing them beside the kite.

"I know I'm going to regret asking this but Cortex what is this memo about?" N. Gin asks.

"I am so glad you asked, today we are going out into the storm and see if we can attract lightning with this kite and key! And by we I mean you" Cortex says.

"Okay one I'm adding overtime onto the large bill you already owe me and two I'm sure that's already been done"

"Really, who?"

"Benjamin Franklin in about June 15 1752 using the same method to prove lightning is electricity"

"Well... then... we'll call this a reenactment and by we I still mean you"

"Oh joy, I cannot wait"

"That's the spirit, onward for science!"

"I was being sarcastic!"

One hour later...

N. Gin is soaking wet from standing in the rain waiting for lightning to hit the key attached to the kite while Cortex is mostly bone dry thanks to his umbrella.

"Can we go back inside now? There's no lightning storm, its just a normal storm and I don't like pneumonia" N. Gin says.

"Not until someone gets hit by lightning!" Cortex snaps.

At that moment Cortex is struck by lightning..

"That'll work... doubt asking for cash to hit me will work" N. Gin sighs.

He heads inside, making a mental note to poke Cortex with a stick if he is still out there once the rain has stopped. He left the kite outside before he went in.

"How was the 'experiment'?" Brio asks.

"Cortex got struck by lightning so I'm going to poke him with a stick later. Also I've caught a cold and I think we should do an IQ test on Cortex later. I want to see if he has lost any IQ from the lightning " N. Gin says.

"What are you going to do now? Besides keeping that cold to yourself" Brio says.

"Well I was thinking of giving you my cold anyway and maybe do some work... or prank Tropy again... yeah that's pretty much the same thing"

"Speaking of pranking Tropy, I assume it was you Tropy was looking for earlier. Something about tooth paste in his clocks"

"I'm taking the rest of the day off"

"I thought you said you didn't know what a day off was"

"I was joking. Tell Cortex I'll see him when Tropy has forgotten about the tooth paste"


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR: ONCE UPON A TIME

Whilst exploring her uncle's castle, Nina discovered an attic. There she finds a strange book entitled your fairy tail. Curious, she opens the book to see what is written inside.

"Once upon a time..." she flips through the pages and closes the book, "there's nother else written in it, what a waste of time" she closes the book and turns it over to read the back, "with this book in your, speak your desired fairy tail using any characters you wish, be they real or be they made up. This book will write all you speak and all shall be returned to as it was once your tail has come to an end. Interesting, this could be fun" she opens the book up once more, "once upon a time, there lived a cross-dressing prince named..."

Nina pauses a moment to ponder who will be her first victim. A smile appears on her face when she made her decision.

Meanwhile, in the break room...

N. Gin is attempting to fix the coffee maker whilst Tropy watches him with great interest.

"I am telling you, you are wasting your time. Even if you do fix it the dam thing will only break again" Tropy tells N. Gin.

"And I'm telling you I can too fix the dam coffee maker besides Cortex refuses to buy a new one" N. Gin tells him.

"I bet you £10 you cannot successfully repair the coffee maker"

"Coffee and a tenner just from fixing it... your on"

N. Gin spends only a few minutes on the coffee maker and is successful at fixing it. Tropy is a little upset at being proven wrong but before N. Gin can say I told you so he disappears.

Unaware of what has happened, N. Gin turns round and says, "see I told you I could... fix... it... okay, where am I?" he looks around what appears to be a courtyard with a castle behind him.

"Your in my fairy tail and you can't leave until I say so. Also you might want to..." Nina snickers, "look at what your wearing" she bursts out laughing.

"What I'm..." he has a quick look at his outfit, "a pink dress, really?"

"What, it suits you but not as much as the ballet dress"

"One time, I wore it one time"

"Twice"

"TWICE?!"

"You may have been drunk the second time. Now where was I... oh yes, that's right. Once upon a time there lived a cross-dressing prince named N. Gin and an ugly princess named Coco"

Coco appears beside N. Gin in a blue dress.

"N. Gin? What have you done?" Coco asks.

"Me, nothing. This is all Nina's doing and welcome to hell. You are free to not enjoy your time here" N. Gin tells her.

"Nina set us free right now... never thought I'd be trying to help you of all people"

N. Gin merely shrugs his shoulders.

"Quiet you two! Princess N. Gin..." Nina says.

"I thought I was a cross-dressing prince... in your story I mean... I DON'T CROSS DRESS!" N. Gin says.

"I changed my mind, don't worry your gender won't change. Princess N. Gin and Princess Coco lived in a small kingdom with their father... Um... King Tropy and their mother Queen Brio"

Just as before Tropy and Brio appear wearing the appropriate outfits.

"Hi Tropy, Brio, welcome to hell" Coco says.

"That's my line and Tropy you owe me £10 when we get out of here" N. Gin says.

"And that will be when?" Tropy asks.

"Whenever Nina decides to end this" N. Gin tells him.

"I kinda see why you like wearing dresses N. Gin" Brio says.

"I DO NOT LIKE WEARING DRESSES!" N. Gin snaps.

Nina ignores the four and continues with her fairy tail, "the fair kingdom was guarded by two brave knights, Sir Crash and Sir Cortex"

"Hey Cortex, hey big brother..." Coco says.

"Welcome to hell, exits are to your nowhere as there are none" N. Gin says, interrupting her.

"You had to interrupt me, didn't you"

"Says the bandicoot who is obsessed with butter. It's seriously not a healthy thing to be obsessed with"

"Look Coco, I'm a knight and I have a sword!" Crash says happily.

"Then again being around Crash isn't very healthy either, especially now he has a weapon" N. Gin says.

"OW MY BUTT!" Cortex cries as Crash pokes him with his sword.

"One day, when Crash and Cortex were sparring" Nina says as Crash continues to poke Cortex with his sword, "a terrifying blue dragon known as Ripper Roo attacked the castle"

"Not Ripper Roo!" Cortex says.

"Could be worse, Nina could have chosen Papu Papu" N. Gin says.

"Yeah, his farts are the worst, especially after you've dared him to eat beans for the whole day" Crash says.

"That's not what I meant... wait, that was you? I thought that was Cortex's doing"

"Sir Crash and Sir Cortex tried to defeat the dragon but he proved to be too strong. The dragon picked the knights up up, blew fire on them then threw them far away" Nina says.

Ripper Roo, oddly enough, follows Nina's instructions perfectly. As Crash and Cortex disappear into the distance N. Gin, Coco, Tropy and Brio could hear their screams.

"I'M ALLERGIC TO PAIN!" Cortex cries.

"MY BUTT'S ON FIRE!" Crash yells.

"Better them than me" N. Gin says.

"Do you even care?" Brio asks.

"Nope"

"Not even a little?" Coco asks.

"Not even a little" N. Gin replies.

"I think Brio and Coco are referring to being left with Ripper Roo and his new dragon powers, NOT of Crash and Cortex" Tropy says.

"Oh... that I do care about" N. Gin says, "you!" he points at Ripper Roo, "come near me and I will rain loads of doom on you!"

"And this will help us how?"

"Yeah, what were you planning on using in this 'rain loads of doom on you' plan?" Coco asks.

"Well... you see... I... I haven't thought that far ahead yet! Couldn't you have both kept your big mouths shut?!" N. Gin snaps, "how about you come up with a good idea then"

Coco watches N. Gin and Tropy argue then looks at Brio who is twirling around on the spot.

"Three scientist and none of them know how to get out, we're doomed" Coco cries.

"The best thing to do right now is allow Nina to continue the story. If you will" Tropy says.

"With their best, or rather only knights gone the kingdom was doomed to fall. Fortunately before the dragon sized the kingdom King Tropy was able to sneak his eldest daughter out with a map to a magic sword that can slay the beast" Nina says.

Tropy hands N. Gin the map that appeared in his hand.

"You heard Nina, now leave" Tropy says.

"You heard Nina now leave" N. Gin says in a childish manor as he leaves.

"Don't be so childish!" Tropy snaps.

"Don't be so childish" N. Gin says childishly as he takes a peek at the map.

"STOP REPEATING ME!" Tropy yells.

"Now Tropy, just ignore him" Coco says in a attempt to calm him down.

"Look at me, I'm Coco, I'm sooo pretty. Oh no Crash, I got kidnapped 'cause I cannot defend myself without Pura's help and we need more butter" N. Gin says in a mocking voice.

"I AM SO GONNA KICK HIS ASS AGAIN!" Coco yells.

Tropy holds Coco back as N. Gin legs it, well as fast as he can in a dress.

"Princess N. Gin traveled far from home and found Sir Crash and Sir Cortex stuck up a tree" Nina says.

"Of course I did" N. Gin sighs when he sees them.

"Oh and they fall out of the tree and land on top of you, N. Gin"

"Wait, what?" N. Gin says as Crash and Cortex fall and land beside him, "that was lucky"

"I said on top not beside! Just give them the map"

N. Gin hands Crash the map, "get the sword so we can end this already"

Crash gets off Cortex and has a look at the map. N. Gin sighs and turns the map right way round and right way up.

"It's not far from here... I think... this way!" Crash leads the way.

"Oh joy, this will be fun" N. Gin says sarcastically as he follows Crash.

"Wait for me!" Cortex yells.

"After getting lost several times from Crash's lack of directional knowledge the finally find the power crystal sword" Nina says.

"It's a power crystal... IT'S MINE!" Cortex lunges at it.

"NOOO, IT'S MINE!" Crash follows suit and starts to fight Cortex for it.

"I'm getting flash backs, all of them are pain related" N. Gin says.

"I'm sure it does... Anyway, the sword choses Crash because... well my uncle will no doubt try to take over a world that only exist in a book, a strange magical one at that. The group made their way back to the castle... eventually" Nina says.

"And we only got lost once!" Crash says proudly.

"I knew we shouldn't have trusted the monkey" Cortex says.

"They why'd you ask it for directions?" N. Gin asks.

"Because it was there" Crash says,

N. Gin face palms, "ow, I hit myself too hard"

"With sword in hand and his 'friends' by his side Sir Crash went t face the dragon. Oh but fate is cruel as the dragon breathes fire on the... well not so fair Princess N. Gin, 'killing' her" Nina says and Ripper Roo does just that.

"HA! You so deserved!" Coco laughs.

"NOOO, N. Gin is dead!" Crash cries.

"No I'm not, I just have first-degree burns, which is strange considering what just happened but I'm not going to complain" N. Gin says.

"Devastated, Crash defeats the dragon and frees the land but alias this does not bring Princess N. Gin back so Sir Crash decides to kiss her to try and bring her back to life" Nina says.

"First off, I am NOT dead!" N. Gin yells as he keeps Crash at arms length, "secondly there is no way that would bring me back from the dead if I were dead!"

"You don't want Crash to kiss you, do you?" Nina asks.

"NO I DON'T!"

"Fine, instead of bringing Princess N. Gin back with a kiss, King Tropy used his time powers to bring you back and they all lived happily ever after, the end"

They were all teleported out of the book and into the attic, all back in their original outfits and, in Ripper Roo's case, form. The title of the book changes to the Blue Dragon by Nina Cortex.

"What a lame title" Nina puts the book away.

Everyone, excluding Ripper Roo, made their way out of the attic.

"Tropy, you still owe me" N. Gin says.

"I know" Tropy sighs.

"Let's never do that again" Cortex says.

"Agreed" Nina says.

"Come on Crash, let's go home" Coco says.

"Exit is this way" Crash says.

"That's a closet" N. Gin says.

Ripper Roo is left starring at a book similar to the one Nina found. One may think he would try and do what Nina had earlier as he somehow manages to get himself up onto his paws. Instead he jumps out of the attic and lands on Brio.

Before leaving, Coco fought and defeated N. Gin. The 'epic battle' lasted a mere two seconds thanks to a baseball bat Coco found lying around. N. Gin has not only learnt his lesson of why he shouldn't make fun of Coco he is currently recovering from another headache.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE: SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

Tropy knew Cortex's latest plan is both doomed to fail and design to annoy N. Gin when the scientist in question decides to hide in the cupboard in the break room. He is, however, quickly found by Tiny Tiger who Cortex obviously sent by Cortex to find and drag N. Gin back to him. Tropy decides to wait and see what plan Cortex has thought up this time.

Cortex walks in with a satisfied look on his face. One thing Tropy notice is N. Gin is not with Cortex making him wonder why Cortex had been insistent in talking with the red head. This also makes him wonder why said red head was desperate to hide from Cortex.

"What have you done this time? N. Gin hasn't finally committed suicide to get away from you, has he?" Tropy asks with a suspicious look on his face.

"My plan is simple, thanks to a new formula Brio has concocted" Cortex replies.

Tropy sighs knowing well what Cortex is waiting for, "and that would be?"

"I'm glad you asked so I shall tell you. The formula, which comes in potion form, is use to transform one to take on the appearance of a Bandicoot. At long last we will finally be able to spy on those infuriating Bandicoots"

"I'm guessing when you say we what you really mean is replace the 'we' with another person's name and you still haven't answered my previous question on the whereabouts of N. Gin"

"Of course when I say we I do mean my loyal assistant N. Gin who is..." Cortex notice N. Gin isn't in the room with them, "N. GIN, GET IN HERE NOW!"

"NO! I LOOK STUPID!" N. Gin yelled.

"At least he isn't dead... yet" Tropy says to himself.

Tropy listens to Cortex and N. Gin's argument, manly because they were difficult to ignore. Eventually Cortex manages to pull N. Gin into the room and, as Cortex had explained only moments ago, N. Gin looks like a Bandicoot. Well one who has been in an unfortunate accident as the only thing that hasn't changed was the missel that is lodged in his skull.

"I still say this isn't going to work" N. Gin tells Cortex.

"Of course it will and your going to prove it" Cortex says, trying to reassure him.

"Crash may be stupid enough to fall for... well this but not Coco or Crunch... well not Coco. I just look like me but as a Bandicoot" N. Gin says.

"He has a point" Tropy says.

"Come now, you'll never know unless you try" Cortex says.

"Isn't the saying you never know _until_ you try?" N. Gin asks.

"Yeah, yeah. Tiny, why don't you show N. Gin the way?" Cortex asks the muscular tiger.

"Tiny help crush puny Bandicoots" Tiny Tiger says.

"I am so glad I have working legs" N. Gin says as he slowly backs away towards the door then run out the room.

"Have fun!" Cortex says.

"All of this is very familiar... yet it is. Now that I think of it this is the same plan you used back at school when you wanted to spy on the girls. Something about wanting to know what they thought of you" Tropy says.

"Ah, good times. I remember it like it was yesterday..."

~FLASH BACK~

"All you have to do is wear this wig and girl's uniform" Neo held the uniform and wig up in front of him, "then find out what the girls think of me. What do you say, Gin?"

Gin nodded, "that's a great idea, I'll do it!"

~'FLASH BACK' END~

"That is not how it happened" Tropy says, interrupting Cortex's 'memories'.

"Oh really, so how did it happen?" Cortex asks.

"Well..."

~REAL FLASH BACK~

"You have to wear the girl's uniform so I can find out which girl shall be my future wife!" Neo told Gin, "you'll also want to wear this" he held up the unform and a wig.

"No way, I'm not wearing girls' clothes, especially not for you so you can find your 'future wife'. Why don't you do it?!" Gin asked.

"His head is too big" Brio pointed out.

"That makes him a walking target plus the wig looks stupid on him" Tropy said.

"Thanks for the back up guys. There is no way I'm doing this!" Gin told them.

"Well that's a shame and I was soo looking forward to seeing what you would have looked like as a girl, what about you Tropy?" Brio asked as he and Tropy positioned themselves on either side of Gin, Tropy holding the uniform and Brio holding the wig.

"Indeed, even if it was only to help inflate Neo's ego... oh well I guess we should" Tropy nodded.

Tropy and Brio jumped Gin and between them they managed to get the uniform and wig on Gin. He looked a little messed up but at least he was wearing them. Gin himself wasn't amused in the slightest and he just glared at his so-called friends.

"I look stupid" Gin grumbled.

"Of course you do, now hold still" Tropy straightened his clothes and wig, "how's that?"

"You look beautiful" Neo said.

"Again, not helping!" Gin snapped.

"Come, come, shake a leg and go get 'em" Cortex said as he pushed Gin out the door.

"This won't work!" Gin said on the way out.

"I'd better keep an eye on him" Tropy said in his head.

Tropy followed Gin to the girls' dormitories, making sure to keep out of sight.

Tropy watched as Gin attempted to act girly only to sound like he had recently caught a cold. He had to stop himself from laughing as he watched Gin nervously try and 'miggle' with their female classmates. Unsurprisingly they had the same opinions of Neo, they all hated him.

Neo's plan did, however, fall apart once the girls successfully managed to trick Gin into telling them everything without him realizing it. This made Tropy come to the conclusion they knew they were talking to Gin the entire time. The girls did punish Gin for going along with Neo's plan in the first place, despite his argument that he was forced into it.

~REAL FLASH BACK END~

"The girls then beat you up, more so than N. Gin" Tropy reminded him.

"Why couldn't you let me remember it as I wanted to?!" Cortex whined.

"Because you never succeeded. N. Gin did stop talking to you for a week, though that may be because he was too busy pulling fake nails out of his arms"

"Good times... I wonder how N. Gin is doing"

At that moment, N. Gin returns from his 'mission' far sooner than expected. The potion's effect have worn off and he is covered in scratches.

"You look awful, more so than usual" Tropy says, "I take it the plan was a failure"

"Wait for the burses to come out, Coco whacked me in the face with her laptop also Pura, not so little anymore. I still have no idea why Polar hasn't grown... not that I'm complaining" N. Gin tells him.

"So, what are their weaknesses, deepest secrets? You must have learnt something" Cortex says.

"One, even when the potion did work they knew it was me thanks to this" N. Gin points to the missel, "and two" he punches Cortex in the face, "that is for sending me on yet another suicide mission. Now I'm going to clean these scratches... and see if my hand is broken. Jesus, what is your face made of?!" he walks away.

"He'll come back, he always does" Cortex collapses.

"Yes he will come back, until you pay him. I wonder how long it will be until the next useless doomed to fail plan comes to be" Tropy says.

N. Gin: why was Crash able to speak in English in the last chapter, you never explained it

Author: yeah, I forgot to say. Crash actually talking is a reference to the Crash Bandicoot manga which I discovered before starting this fanfic. Does that help?

N. Gin: I guess... so am I getting a break in the next chapter... when you get around to doing it that is

Author: err... no


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX: NEW IDEAS?

Cortex attempts to organise a meeting room with his loyal allies, and one long suffering assistant, to help him come up with any new plans to defeat the Bandicoots. Unfortunately only N. Gin appears to have shown up in the meeting room. He seems to be busy playing with a paddle ball and hasn't notice Cortex entering the room. Cortex sat down opposite N. Gin and waits, watching N. Gin for a while but he soon became board.

"WHERE IS EVERYONE?!" Cortex yells.

N. Gin is startled and drops his toy, "\Cortex? What are you doing here?"

"Holding a meeting in the meeting room... you are here for that, right?"

"Um... sure... I guess" N. Gin says to Cortex then in his head, "maybe I shouldn't tell him I'm hiding from Pinstripe and his plan to get me drunk"

"Excellent! Now, where is everyone?"

"Brio is busy working on some potions. Tropy is tinkering with his clocks. Tiny is doing whatever he does in his free time. Pinstripe is looking for someone to try some alcohol he found. Do you want me to continue?"

"No... are you hiding from Pinstripe?" Cortex looks at N. Gin suspiciously.

"What did you want to talk about?" N. Gin asks with an innocent smile.

"I need help to think of a new, fool proof plan to get rid of those infernal Bandicoots once and for all!"

"I'm not building another space station, Brio destroyed one and any built after that have always had a bad habit of exploding"

"I wasn't going to suggest that besides going to space is boring. Not to mention slightly hazard to one's health"

"Everything we do is ninety percent hazard to our health. Like the time you installed a flame thrower in the dish washer, which Brio discovered... why did you do that? Were you hoping Crash would break in and use it to clean his dishes... if he has any that is"

"Possibly... that's all in the past"

"That was yesterday and you wonder why Brio rarely talks to you"

"That aside why don't we have another race?"

"I have no idea how that will kill the Bandicoots unless your plan involves either running them over or tampering with their karts. Besides i can't help you this time. You blew up my kart when you attempted to send it to outer space"

"Did it work?"

"Possibly, half the parts never showed up again"

"Party games?"

"Sure because playing a mini game based around William Tell's feat with your enemies is loads of fun, especially when their hand 'slips'. At any rate those fat 'plumbers' have that covered. They call themselves plumbers but they have yet to fix any toilets or sinks. I wonder if the title plumber is given to people who run around beating up oversize lizards and rescuing princesses these days"

"But they also do racing games"

"As does everyone else at least once. It's a gimmicky thing, like tennis or golf"

"That's it! How about..."

"No, tennis equals black eyes and broken tennis rackets, not to mention no one wants to see you in shorts. Golf on the other hand is pretty much the same thing except you all get to wear stupid hats, we also get to watch Crash and Tiny see who can throw their golf club the furthest. At any rate I can't play either sports, depth deception problems or at least that's the excuse I'm using"

"Baseball? Football? The Olympics? Melee?"

"Baseball would end up pretty much the same as golf for Crash and Tiny. Football, depends which one your talking about, one being far more painful than the other. Olympics, hell no! No one wants to see you do figure skating in those outfits not to mention we probably couldn't complete half the events without injuries or dying or laughter. As for melee don't we already get beaten up enough?"

"Fine... how about we team up with one of Spyro's enemies?"

"From what I heard it was a terrible idea on both you and that weird... reptile guy came up with. I wasn't involved so I have no idea how bad an idea it was"

"I have it! We can unleash the TITANS!"

"Fuck. No! I'm pretty sure a lot of people thought I lost my mind thanks to those 'plans'. I even thought I might have lost it"

"What do you suggest we do then?"

"Dress you up like Coco then have you lure Crash into a cave or pit filled with explosives covered up with wumpa fruit? Maybe he'll be dumb enough to stand still long enough for us to blow him"

"That will never work... I have it! Follow me!"

N. Gin picks up his paddle ball and follows Cortex down into the dungeon. They stop in front of a large cage. N. Gin can see a pair of glowing red eyes starring out at them.

"Have you actually created something useful? That in itself is scary if you have" N. Gin says

"N. Gin I give you ,y greatest creation! The only Titan I never used due to its... awesomeness of power!" Cortex announces.

"Oh joy, a Titan... wonder if you tortured it in anyway to make it obey you through fear. Wonder if it even remembers you"

Cortex opens the cage door and a large white fist lands on top of him.

"I take that as a yes. This is why I stick to machines" N. Gin says.

The creature stomps out of it's cage, stepping on Cortex on the way out.

"Mutant rabbit with lasers? I don't know if I should be impressed or worried. Then again it would prove I was right about rabbits being evil" N. Gin says.

Cortex pulls himself up onto his feet, "why do you think rabbits are evil?"

"They are according to Watership Down"

"I'd better go get it so I may unleash it upon the Bandicoots!" Cortex heads towards the stairs then stops and turns to N. Gin, "aren't you coming?"

"Nope, I think I'll keep playing with my toy" N. Gin leans against the wall and starts playing with his paddle ball.

As Cortex leaves he passes Brio who joins N. Gin's side.

"Did I just see a mutant rabbit with lasers eat the fridge whole?" Brio asks.

"Possibly" N. Gin replies.

"New plan to defeat Crash?"

"What else?"

They hear a large explosion come from upstairs. Cortex soon stumbles back looking slightly singed.

"What happened?" N. Gin asks, half heatedly.

"Tiny tried to fight it and managed to punch a hole in it's chest" Cortex replies.

"So it was a robot... have fun fixing the castle" N. Gin says.

"Aren't either of you going to help me?" Cortex asks.

"No!" N. Gin and Brio say.

"Fine! But I will make you regret this!" Cortex storms off.

"I doubt it" N. Gin says.

It took Cortex three days to repair the damage. He did, however, prove N. Gin wrong when he managed to make him wear a tutu for a whole day. The experience earned him a black eye.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE SEWERS... SORT OF

Cortex, having earlier spent the past several hours surfing the web, has been trying to find N. Gin for the last ten minutes or so when he hears something explode. He heads towards the source to investigate and finds N. Gin outside standing in front of a small crater in the ground..

"You couldn't resist wrecking my land, could you?" Cortex sighs.

"It was a mech and not a desire to ruin your day. I was testing it's remote control functions when it malfunctioned. I was hoping we, or rather I could use it the next time you make me fight Crash. I'm getting fed up of Crash blowing me up along with whatever mech I happen to be using" N. Gin tells him.

"Exploding mechs aside I was thinking..."

"Forget it"

"But I haven't told you what I had in mind"

"Even though it's probably going to be a waist of time, what is it?"

"I heard from a reliable source there is a power crystal hidden somewhere in the sewers so I need you to find a printable map of the sewer system and help me find it! So, are you going to help?"

N. Gin doesn't reply for several minutes as Cortex waits for his answer.

"Well?" Cortex asks.

"I'm thinking about it" N. Gin replies.

"Well think faster. We need to get there before Crash does!"

"No, you can do it yourself"

"But I need your help. Don't make me bring out my swimsuit photos"

"Okay, okay but I'm staying here. I can give you directions over a walkie talkie I modified" N. Gin tells him, receiving a questionable look from Cortex, "I was board"

"Fine, we'll do it your way. Last time I let you have free will"

"I'm still technically human and free will comes with the whole package of being human"

"Then next time I'll order you to come with me or I'll feed you to my crocodiles"

"We don't have crocodiles, we have Dingodile... don't threaten to have him beat me up"

"Then get to work!"

They head back into the castle. N. Gin hands Cortex a walkie talkie and sees him off. N. Gin reluctantly brings up a map of the sewers on his computer. It didn't take Cortex long to contact him, letting him know he has arrived at his destination.

"Okay N. Gin, which way should I go?" Cortex asks.

"Just go straight ahead until you reach a fork in the road, most of the branching paths lead to dead ends" N. Gin replies.

"Rodger"

As N. Gin waits for Cortex to get back to him with any information on his current status, he hears Ripper Roo's laughter coming from above him. He looks up and sees Ripper Roo with a potion bottle of purple stuff near his foot, which he kicks down onto his head.

"Oh crap" N. Gin manages to say before the strange potion lands on his head, exploding on contact.

"N. Gin! What was that?!" Cortex asks.

"Nothing, just Ripper Roo doing his own experiments... on me" N. Gin sighs, "any luck on the power crystal?"

"Not yet but I haven't given up yet!" Cortex tells him.

"Oh good, give me one minute and I'll be right back with you" N/. Gin runs after Ripper Roo, "get back here with those potion... things"

N. Gin fails to catch Ripper Roo and even manages to lose him. He returns to the computer all while wondering how the insane blue kangaroo managed to outsmart him.

Cortex becomes quiet so N. Gin begins tinkering with the remote control to his new mech. As he does he hears some banging noises coming from the room above him.

"Brio must be working on a new potion" N. Gin says to himself.

"N. Gin, I have almost explored all of the sewers" Cortex tells him.

"Already? How much coffee did you drink this morning? Better still what kind of drugs did you take?"

"Neither, I must have that power crystal!"

"Oh... okay"

"Power crystal, come to papa!"

"He's lost it... again"

N. Gin continues to tinker with the remote control. He hears something explode in the background, Tropy soon appears at the doorway.

"It appears someone broke your mech" Tropy informs him.

"Tell me who and I'll make them wish they hadn't" N. Gin says.

"Brio, he may have 'borrowed' it to test his new transformation potion"

"Well... it wasn't hard to build... I'll just build a new one"

"Wuss"

"Why don't you fight a potion enhanced Brio without any help and see how long you last"

"Much longer than you I'd wager"

Tropy leaves before N. Gin can respond. Giving up on the remote and with Cortex yet to check in, decides to log onto the social network Cortex insisted he sign up for and sees Crash has posted something.

Personally he never really liked the idea of befriending the Bandicoots. Something about keeping his enemies close.

N. Gin looks at what he posted which reads as follows: hkjhikadchargfwjsnfkhgeioweopdkvbkths.

N. Gin sighs and types, Crash stop bashing your head off the keyboard! You barely have any brain cells to function as it is. He soon regrets this as Coco decides to talk to him through the call feature.

"What is it? Fed up with making renewable butter already?" N. Gin asks.

"Shut up! I thought you'd be in the sewers with Cortex looking for the power crystal" Coco said.

"First of all, shut up is not a good come back and secondly there was no way I was going... wait, why aren't you looking for it?"

"No reason"

"There is no power crystal in the sewers, is there?"

"No but you'll probably be glad you weren't there"

N. Gin hears an explosion come for the walkie talkie.

"A bomb? Really? How unoriginal and boring"

"Don't you care. We tricked your boss into going down into the sewers only to be blown up"

"I do something similar to that at least once a month besides he'll live and at least now I know where the tip came from" N. Gin tells her as he fiddles around with a program on his computer.

"I hear keyboard clicks, what are you doing?" Coco asks, N. Gin he hears an explosion in the background, "you blew a hole in my roof!"

"With lasers, hope you like your new sunlight" N. Gin ends the call and logs off before Coco can respond, "too bad Cortex won't just use that to kill them"

N. Gin leaves the computer to see what he can salvage from the remains of what was once a remote control mech, hoping to find something to make building a new one a little easier.

Cortex returns looking slightly singed.

"That's what you get from getting advice from the Bandicoots" N. Gin tells him.

Cortex ignores him and storms off to who knows where. N. Gin doesn't seem to care.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT: SPOOKY, SCARY, SKELETON... 'CAUSE HALLOWEEN

... HALLOWEEN CANDY?!

"What?" N. Gin asked.

Why do the shops sell Christmas candy and chocolate as early as October but have barely any Halloween themed sweets?

"Why are you complaining about that, better still why are you bothering ME about this? From what I've been told that's apparently Cortex's job"

Because I'm board and complaining, no matter how big or small the complaint, is a part of human nature. Like complaining about the weather when it's too hot or too cold.

"If your that board then go and write a new chapter for the fan fiction... I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging you"

A Halloween special, perfect. Thanks for the advice N. Gin!

"Fine but nothing about guarding animatronics, being trapped in haunted placed period or being around mad people!"

Fine, but the chapter will probably end up being short... can I be in it?

"I don't care, you've already waisted most of the chapter with this dam pointless conversations, just start it already!"

October 31st, Halloween or day of the dead if you live in Mexico. A holiday, from what Wikipedia says, begins on October 31st and continues on til November 2nd. Unlike Halloween, where people dress up to get free candy by saying trick or treat, day of the dead focuses more on remembering family and friends who have passed on by visiting their graves and leaving behind a possession that once belong to them when they were still alive.

"Why is there a girl in MY meeting room telling us about day of the dead?" Cortex asked.

"Nina's here and she is also a girl as for her, she seems to think she's my friend plus she's board. Just go with it" N. Gin explained.

"But what about the day of the dead facts?" Cortex asked, again.

I couldn't be bothered looking up Halloween facts and day of the dead sounded more interesting to me. Please carry on.

"Anyway, my latest plan is to trick Crash into going into my spooky fun house which will be filled with deadly traps. He will never make it out alive!" Cortex laughed evilly.

"Your doings this for Halloween, right?" Nina asked.

"Correct, all we need now is the spooky fun house" Cortex said.

"And how are you going to build it in time for Halloween?" Nina asked.

"With help from the author who just happens to be here... more in person than usual. Now take N. Gin and me to the spooky fun house and give me a scary Halloween costume!" Cortex ordered.

Cortex and N. Gin arrived at Cortex's forementioned spooky fun house (of death). Cortex's Halloween costume certainly scared N. Gin.

"His costume is a drag queen, who the fuck wouldn't be even the slightest bit disturbed by this?! I feel like anyone reading this, possible that one person, should be grateful this isn't a comic right now" N. Gin said.

"It's the perfect Halloween costume" Cortex said.

"Perfect for making people want to scratch their eyes out, not to mention I'm sure to have nightmares for like a week or so. Anyway, before the place literally becomes a crime scene, why don't you go and inspect the traps?"

"Good idea"

Cortex went inside and... it says here he got beaten to a bloody pulp and that's the nice version.

"Why won't you ready it word by word, I worked really hard on that?" N. Gin asked.

And you refused to have mad people in this, a bit hypocritical of you don't you think?

"I'm an exception"

Sure and the reason why I won't is 'cause I'd have to up the age raiting if I read what you wrote. If it wasn't for your cursing I could have gotten away with a lower age raiting.

"Your gonna bring him back for the next chapter, whenever that is... Christmas next right?"

Yes and maybe, I'll see how I feel between now and then. Also end of chapter, told you it'd be short. Now who wants pizza?

"No one does, now go back to the old format, I don't wanna babysit you for another chapter"

I have it, another 'fairy tail' chapter where your the princess!

"But I don't wanna wear a dress... again"


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE: ONE XMAS STORY IS NOT ENOUGH

Guys! Guys! It's almost Christmas and I'm suppose to post an Xmas theme chapter soon! Well I would have when everyone reads this... by everyone I mean one person.

"And you want us to do what about it?" Cortex asked.

Cortex, I need you to drink a ton of booze, dress up as a reindeer and do a reenactment of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.

"And how do I do this reenactment?" Cortex asked.

Simple, jump off a cliff, or roof depending on which is closest, and fly... or attempt to.

"Great idea, I'll get the booze!" N. Gin said.

"NO! I'll break every bone in my body" Cortex protested.

"Spoiled sport" N. Gin huffed.

Okay, who gave Cortex brain pills? Fine, then I'll just have to come up with a different Christmas theme story.

"How about the story of the little match girl? You, my dear author, can have the honor of playing as the match girl" Cortex suggested.

She dies in the end, there's no way we're doing that story. Any other ideas, that don't involve death.

"I have an idea but I need to borrow N. Gin for a few minutes" Nina said.

Okay, go for it. Can't be any worse than what your uncle suggested.

Nina dragged N. Gin away.

Now what to do in the meantime... I know! The twelve days of Christmas! We can make our own version, without deafening people in the process. To save time, we'll have to start at day twelve otherwise this would take forever.

"Then Allow me" Cortex said.

12 Platinum Relics,

11 Brio Potions,

10 Nitro Crates,

9 Bonus Platforms,

8 Trading Cards,

7 Ammo Crates,

6 Anvils,

5 Power Crystals,

4 CTR Keys,

3 Extra Lives,

2 Wumpa Fruit,

And N. Gin Stuck In A Tree

Thanks Cortex, that was creative... but please don't sing again.

Nina returned and N. Gin... N. Gin is covered in small, reflective squares and tinsel.

"If you point a flash light at him, the light reflects off the reflective squares and..." Nina begun.

"We're doing Christmas, NOT a reenactment of the Twilight saga!" Cortex snapped.

"No, he's suppose to be a Christmas tree! I would have thought the tinsel would have given it away" Nina sighed.

And the brain pills have worn off. Good job Nina. Your idea was both festive and humiliating.

"Just kill me now" N. Gin sighed.

No, next idea please. I would like this to be longer than the Halloween chapter.

"How about we attempt to do a Christmas classic? A Christmas Carol?" N. Tropy suggested.

I like it, please go on.

"Cortex plays the role of Ebenezer Scrooge, N. Gin plays the role of Bob Cratchit and I shall take on the roles of Bob Marley, the ghost of Christmas past, the ghost of Christmas present and the ghost of Christmas yet to come" N. Tropy said.

"So not only do I look like the worse Christmas tree in history, I now have to play a poor guy" N. Gin sighed.

"And I get to be filthy rich" Cortex said.

Hey! I wanna be the ghost of Christmas yet to come!

"I am the master of time. It is only fitting I play all the ghosts" N. Tropy said.

If that's the case why do you keep losing to Crash? Surly you could have used your time powers to predict the out come of the battle and use that knowledge to beat him.

"I merely preserve time, I do not change it" N. Tropy said.

"Why do you want to play as the ghost of Christmas yet to come?" Cortex asked.

I get to show you your own grave then kick you into a hell a few years early... according to the original story.

"And then what? How is that a jolly story?" Cortex asked.

Then you wake up on Christmas day and... well you like Christmas and stop being an ass to everyone. You know, like giving Bob Cratchit Christmas day off and giving him a raise... and giving money to charity. Then again considering it's you, we may have to get you drunk before hand just to act even remotely nice to... well anyone.

"That'll never happen" N. Gin said.

"I can be nice" Cortex whined.

"Take some mistletoe and go kiss the Bandicoots then give them all a non-lethal present each" N. Gin said.

"I WILL NOT DO THAT!" Cortex yelled.

"I rest my case. Can we end the chapter now?" N. Gin asked.

Fine, I think we have enough material now. But before we end, a few additional things.

N. Tropy got a new watch, seriously use those powers right. I know you can.

N. Gin got... um... some more painkillers for that never ending headache, also know as his boss.

Nina got a new magic book, we will all regret giving that to her later I'm sure.

Final Cortex's gift.

"Wonderful, I wonder what it is" Cortex said.

When Cortex opened the gift box he was greeted by a boxing glove to the face. That is what you get for being a pervert. Now all we need is a GODDAM NEW CRASH BANDICOOT GAME! Please Naughtydog... Sony buy Crash back so his fans will at last have the game they have been waiting for!

In the meantime, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Holidays.


End file.
